GETTING RID OF MARK-TO-MARKET IS DUMBER THAN....

…tripping over a cordless phone.

…getting locked in a grocery store and starving to death.

…trying to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

…climbing over a glass wall to see what’s behind it.

…getting locked out of a convertible with the top down.

…getting stabbed at a shoot out.

…taking a spoon to the Superbowl.

…asking for a price check at a dollar store.

…thinking that sexual battery is some kind of dildo.

…buying a solar powered flashlight.

…sending a fax with a stamp on it.

…studying for a blood test.

…selling the car for gas money.

…taking a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.

…trying to kill a bird by dropping it off a cliff.

…sticking a quarter in the parking meter and asking “where’s my gumball?”.

…trying to wake up a sleeping bag.

…getting run over by a parked car.

…sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

…buying a book on “How to Read”.

…stealing a free sample.